A Maundy Thursday Reflection

There's a moment in the Maundy Thursday story that I think we move past too quickly.

Before the towel. Before the basin. Before any of the things we associate with this night — John stops and makes sure you understand one thing first.

Jesus knew.

He knew exactly what was coming. He knew who was about to betray him, who was about to deny him, who was going to run. He sat at that table with full knowledge of what the next twelve hours would bring.

And then he got on his knees and washed their feet anyway.

I've been sitting with that all week. Not with what it means theologically — though it means everything theologically — but with what it just feels like as a human fact. Most of us, when we know someone is about to hurt us, we pull back. We go quiet. We protect ourselves. That's not weakness, that's just what people do.

He went lower.

Holy Week has a way of finding us where we actually are, not where we wish we were. And I think Thursday night in particular has something to say to anyone who has ever felt like they were holding things together by sheer will — anyone who has ever sat in a room full of people and felt utterly alone in whatever they were carrying.

This is not a night that asks you to have it together. The disciples didn't. Not one of them.

It is a night that asks you to come anyway. To sit at the table. To let yourself be fed in the dark before the night gets worse.